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Rants and spoilers ahead. Many rants and not many spoilers, nothing happens in the movie anyway.
So. I've never been much of a HP fan. I think JKR writes in a silly language half intented for adults, half for kids, the plot isn't really genius neither are the characters, but at least the movies are FUN. So I watched them. Until this last one.
As stated, NOTHING HAPPENS. First, everybody wants to fuck everybody. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Ron's sister, a couple jocks. They should all just fuck each other simultanoeusly and cut the jealousy crap, but nooo. Harry's a pussy, too, cause he's THE FAMOUS POTTER, he could just grab any chich he wanted to, plus the girl he wants WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM for the whole past movies. Then, finally, SHE grabs HIM... and gives him one little boring kiss. And you think there's more to come, but that's it.
Um, the old man dies. LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW that was gonna happen. Seriously. IT HASN'T LEAKED THE MEDIA. It could have at least been an awesome hellfire-explosion-magical-glitter death. But nooo. He just... dies. As boring as a real life death. Snape (OH, YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER SUSPECTED!) points a wand at him, and he falls. NO GLITTER. NO EXPLOSION. Old man falling. How awesome!
Where are the cool characters? Draco spends the whole movie crying because he is a pussy. Hagrid barely appears. Shit, mostly anyone barely appear. Fuck it, I'm trying to whine more, but I can't even remember more of the movie to complain about.
Oh yes, there is the Half Blood Prince deal. Or lack of. I mean, in portuguese, the title is translated as "The enigma of the prince". So I figure there is an enigma, right? Right. And the enigma is why the hell it that the title. Cause like, apart from one mention to the name when Harry finds this book, you spend the whole movie without a single spark of curiosity as to who he is. Hermione makes that obvious mid-movie by asking Harry: "Arent you curious to know who this Half Blood Prince is?", to which he answers: "Fuck, who?". No, he ain't. Neither are you watching.
Then, at the end, Snape says (completely out of context): "Yes, I am the Half Blood prince!", to which Harry answers: "And I saw Hale Berry's boobs on Swordfish, but who gives a fuck?". I probably was thinking about Family Guy instead of paying attention to the movie by then.
Ah yes, there is also something which I take was a plot hook to be unlocked in the next (two!) movies, but it seemed pretty fucking obvious to me. Here it goes:
Harry learns Voldemort (oh yes, you DON'T get to see Ralph Fiennes in his awesome spermatozoid makeup on this movie, either, so MORE negative points) has hidden his soul to make himself immortal (um, Liches anyone?). He has done it more than once. To do so, you need to kill someone. Just after he figures that, The Old Man Soon to Die STARES HIM IN THE FUCKING FOREHEAD and says "I think I have found one more piece, but to destroy it I would have ask too much of you". So, anyone with half a brain takes it that, by killing his mother and making a stupid scar on his forehead, The Dark Lord made Harry a piece of him, right? Right? Come on, you read the last book already, tell me I'm right, and that Harry must fucking die to kill the kickass villain.
Cause that ain't creative, either. Neo and Smith kinda been there before.
So. I've never been much of a HP fan. I think JKR writes in a silly language half intented for adults, half for kids, the plot isn't really genius neither are the characters, but at least the movies are FUN. So I watched them. Until this last one.
As stated, NOTHING HAPPENS. First, everybody wants to fuck everybody. Ron, Hermione, Harry, Ron's sister, a couple jocks. They should all just fuck each other simultanoeusly and cut the jealousy crap, but nooo. Harry's a pussy, too, cause he's THE FAMOUS POTTER, he could just grab any chich he wanted to, plus the girl he wants WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM for the whole past movies. Then, finally, SHE grabs HIM... and gives him one little boring kiss. And you think there's more to come, but that's it.
Um, the old man dies. LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW that was gonna happen. Seriously. IT HASN'T LEAKED THE MEDIA. It could have at least been an awesome hellfire-explosion-magical-glitter death. But nooo. He just... dies. As boring as a real life death. Snape (OH, YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER SUSPECTED!) points a wand at him, and he falls. NO GLITTER. NO EXPLOSION. Old man falling. How awesome!
Where are the cool characters? Draco spends the whole movie crying because he is a pussy. Hagrid barely appears. Shit, mostly anyone barely appear. Fuck it, I'm trying to whine more, but I can't even remember more of the movie to complain about.
Oh yes, there is the Half Blood Prince deal. Or lack of. I mean, in portuguese, the title is translated as "The enigma of the prince". So I figure there is an enigma, right? Right. And the enigma is why the hell it that the title. Cause like, apart from one mention to the name when Harry finds this book, you spend the whole movie without a single spark of curiosity as to who he is. Hermione makes that obvious mid-movie by asking Harry: "Arent you curious to know who this Half Blood Prince is?", to which he answers: "Fuck, who?". No, he ain't. Neither are you watching.
Then, at the end, Snape says (completely out of context): "Yes, I am the Half Blood prince!", to which Harry answers: "And I saw Hale Berry's boobs on Swordfish, but who gives a fuck?". I probably was thinking about Family Guy instead of paying attention to the movie by then.
Ah yes, there is also something which I take was a plot hook to be unlocked in the next (two!) movies, but it seemed pretty fucking obvious to me. Here it goes:
Harry learns Voldemort (oh yes, you DON'T get to see Ralph Fiennes in his awesome spermatozoid makeup on this movie, either, so MORE negative points) has hidden his soul to make himself immortal (um, Liches anyone?). He has done it more than once. To do so, you need to kill someone. Just after he figures that, The Old Man Soon to Die STARES HIM IN THE FUCKING FOREHEAD and says "I think I have found one more piece, but to destroy it I would have ask too much of you". So, anyone with half a brain takes it that, by killing his mother and making a stupid scar on his forehead, The Dark Lord made Harry a piece of him, right? Right? Come on, you read the last book already, tell me I'm right, and that Harry must fucking die to kill the kickass villain.
Cause that ain't creative, either. Neo and Smith kinda been there before.
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SHOW NO MERCY MODERFOQUIN WICKED.
Yo La Tengo e o que vinha antes: Não assisti. O portão de entrada tava super desorganizado, quando a gente chegou lá tava acabando.
Incubus: Só conhecia de nome, tinha a impressão que seria bem gay. Acertei.
Queens of the Stone Age: Também nunca tinha ouvido, é QUASE legal. Pena que o vocalista tem cara de macho mas canta como moça.
Avenged Sevenfold: Wat? Não, não, ligou no número errado.
Pixies: É... música que a minha namorada curte. Ela adorou.
Cavalera Conspiracy: Classe. Arte. Fúria. Putaqueopariumoderfoquer. E ainda Attitude? R
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my observation is as follows, the books are famous, wich means there are many, many people (fans) to be satisfied by the movie. although then, the books characters are deep and also interesting (yes they are) and the story that unfolds in those 7 books is cool and fascinating... the average of those millions of fans interests (unfortunately), lies with the "love-story" part. thats why, any director without any set of balls goes with it... its boring it is disappointing, but it is what the average reader/viewer wants to see .
i still recommend to read the books, they are definitely worth it. skip those abominations of a set of movies (except the 3 one...).
ah and a one spoiler 4 you:
about creativity. its not only about the idea, but about the reasons and the way they are told.
for instand, i was not at all surprised that snape is a double, double agent as you will learn in the 7th book but, it is the way, his reasons an behavior were described that made it still new and fabulous for me. ways btw. that are a total miss in these movies.
i still recommend to read the books, they are definitely worth it. skip those abominations of a set of movies (except the 3 one...).
ah and a one spoiler 4 you:
about creativity. its not only about the idea, but about the reasons and the way they are told.
for instand, i was not at all surprised that snape is a double, double agent as you will learn in the 7th book but, it is the way, his reasons an behavior were described that made it still new and fabulous for me. ways btw. that are a total miss in these movies.